INSIDE THE 'ADULT THEATRES' OF MELBOURNE - Pt. 1 of an exposé on HOW SEX CINEMAS HAVE SURVIVED in the face of rapidly changing digital technology (from a filmmakers perspective)!

*Vintage French erotica from the 1880's or 1890's. 

In 1894, almost immediately after the Lumière brothers had invented the first motion picture cameras, filmmakers realised they could turn a quick buck shooting sex scenes, aka porno. Some of the earliest recorded and exhibited short, silent films, were pornographic in genre; of women disrobing in a strip-tease, belly-dancers, an extreme close-up of a couple kissing and, eventually, full-blown intercourse, complete with story-line, a horny soldier and a young servant girl, fucking. It’s fair to say, since the dawn of cinema, audiences have always had a lust for watching other people have sex.

"It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea to make a film that the story just sucks 'em in and when they spurt out that joy juice they just gotta sit in it, they can't move until they find out how the story ends."  - Jack Horner, Porno Film Director, as played by Burt Reynolds, in Paul Thomas Anderson's Boogie Nights.  

*P.T.A's timeless classic gets better with every viewing!

Upon revisiting the ode to porno, Boogie Nights, recently, this quote struck me! I couldn’t help but wonder; just who are these people (predominantly men?) who are ok with sitting in their own, or someone else’s, ‘joy juice’, and whacking off in public? Albeit in a darkened cinema… but still in public! And how do they walk out of the cinema and go back to work and about their daily lives with ‘joy-juice’ stains all over their pants? Do they take a change of pants with them?

In the 1970’s, connoisseurs of porn, who wanted to watch people having sex on film, a visual stimulation to aid their masturbation, crept into theatres, under bold, bright, neon lit marquees, collars flicked up, hats pulled down, to shield their identities, to rub one out in a darkened room to an X-rated movie like Deep Throat or John Holmes in Johnny Wadd, surrounded by other men, also rubbing one out. 

The film Boogie Nights deftly chronicles the change in era from film to video-cassette. Video, as Jack Horner’s nemesis, the shady, erotic film producer Floyd Gondolli points out, meant that lovers of porn could rub one out in the comfort of their own home. For artistic reasons, filmmaker Jack Horner initially resists the transition from film to tape. ‘If it looks like shit and sounds like shit… it’s probably shit!’ Rebuked the fictional character Jack Horner, who considered himself somewhat of an erotic auteur Director. 

* Burt Reynolds, Smokey and the Bandit the inspiration for this article.

Nevertheless, Floyd Gondolli was right. For good reason, people preferred to consume their porno, to flog the log, to bat one out, in the privacy and comfort of their own homes (not surrounded by other men slappin’ their salamis). And thus, in the 1980’s, the boom in home video cassettes all but killed porn theatres. 

*Floyd Gondolli from Boogie Nights, played by Phillip Baker Hall, a man of 'simple pleasures'!

In a perverse case of karma, video-cassettes and the proceeding technology of DVD, would also be phased out and die an inglorious death, with the 1990’s advent of the internet.

Some of the stats out there about how much of the internet is actually dedicated to porno are more like urban myths than actual fact. Rumours abound, like how two-thirds of all web traffic was attributed to porn. It is very hard to ascertain reliable data as to what the actual percentage really is. But according to one study, in 1999, 40-50% of all internet searches were for sexual content. (http://www.forbes.com/sites/julieruvolo/2011/09/07/how-much-of-the-internet-is-actually-for-porn)

The study, from the book ‘A Billion Wicked Thoughts’, claims that nowadays, out of the top one-million websites, only 2% of them are porno, which is a remarkably small number.

That being said, according to a 2013 BuzzFeed article, the site YouPorn reportedly pulled in 100 million page views per day, with 4,000 page views per second during its peak periods. (http://www.buzzfeed.com/charliewarzel/the-internets-weirdest-secret-nobody-knows-how-much-porn-the#.kpzzq90eR)

Chances are though, if you are visiting an adult theatre to watch porn on the big screen, then you’re probably not one of those people using the internet to batter the sav’ at home?

Despite all the competition from VHS, DVD and finally the internet, remarkably, these porn cinemas have still managed to survive!  

When other businesses effected by rapidly advancing digital technology have fallen by the wayside due to easily accessible films online, most notably video shops, both the humble corner shop and the mega franchises like Blockbuster and Video Ezy, somehow, these adult theatres have managed to eek out an existence, dotted around the central business district of Melbourne, where the rent is also usually staggeringly high.

We’ve all seen them before - Club X on Swanston St. Another Club X just off Little Bourke St. near the intersection of Russell. Crazy Horse on Elizabeth St.

*Shaft starring Samuel L. Jackson screening at an 'Adult Complex' near you! 

With the neon lit silhouette of a ladies legs, how could we miss them? 

I'm pretty reluctant to walk in, for fear of, upon walking out, bumping into a work colleague, an employer, an ex-girlfriend or one of my missus’s best friends! 

But I will put my hand up! I’ll readily admit that I have previously visited these ‘dens of inequity’ as my mother would have called it! And, clearly, since they are still in existence, I am not the lone ranger! I guess my excuse would be a raging horniness fueled by the use of amphetamines. But more about my past experiences in Pt. 2 of this article! 

What I intend to find out on my next 'field trip' to one of our local Melbourne Adult Theatre Sex Cinemas, purely for research purposes of course, is…

Sex Cinema vs Adult Theatre; what is the preferred nomenclature? What do the proprietors prefer to be called?

How have these Sex Cinemas managed to survive in the ever-changing marketplace?

What have they had to do to ensure their existence in the face of rapidly changing digital technology, such as free sites like YouPorn?

How have they diversified to stay relevant and profitable and maintain their clientele? ('Glory-holes' spring to mind!)


At some stage of the game, Adult Cinemas introduced 'Real Live Girls' as their neon lights advertise (I always crack up at this - 'real live girls' as opposed to what? Cadavers? Inflatable ones?) 

How does an Adult Cinema with a 'Real Live Girls' differ to a strip club? 

And the '$2 Peeps' to lure horny customers in? 
Who are the girls on the other side of the glass in the peep show booths? How does their job compliment their lifestyle? Will one of these girls be willing to be interviewed by me?

Just who, when free porn is only a click of a mouse or a tap of your smart-phone away, still frequents these theatres? 

Although the cinemas would appear to be marketed at hetero-sexual dudes, is their clientele straight, gay or bisexual? 
A quick google will tell you that they are pretty common cruising spots for gay and bi men. And what about couples? How often do they get a couple wader in on a Saturday night and get freak-nasty in the cinemas, with a bunch of horny guys watching on whacking off?

How do they operate within the boundaries of the law in relation to things like lewd and obscene behavior in public? Indecent exposure? Sex in public? Sex on premises?

And what of the poor soul that has to clean up that ‘joy-juice’? 
For the sake of this article, let’s call him the ‘Jizz-Juice-Janitor’, once the customers have blown their wads and left the building? That has got to be one of the worst jobs in history? What sort of health risks, if any, are they exposed to? Are they paid extra, like danger money? What is their uniform, do they wear a biohazard suit complete with breathing apparatus when sponging up spoof? Are there any special industrial strength cleaners the Jizz-Janitor recommends? And just what air freshener overcomes the sticky stench of bodily fluids that can only be created by the chronic masturbation of multiple men, going hard at it, knob-flogging?  

Stay tuned as all these questions and more shall be answered in chapter 2 of my special investigation as we delve deeper into the not-so-secret, sticky-floored underworld INSIDE THE SEX CINEMAS OF MELBOURNE… And again, it's purely about the filmmaking. No, really. True. I swear.

(*All images ripped & reproduced without permission. 

The first image is from a website dedicated to vintage erotica http://www.deltaofvenus.com/ and is a genuine reproduction of late 1800's porno. Well worth checking out for those interested in genuine early porn & filmmaking.)

PEAKING THROUGH THE BLINDERS - My (*Spoiler Free) Critique of Season One of Peaky Blinders

Set in Birmingham, Northern England, in the aftermath of the First World War, season one of the hit BBC TV series, Peaky Blinders, shows glimpses of greatness.  Glimpses - not quite full-blown TV greatness. But 'Blinders has certainly shown enough to leave audiences hanging out for more in season two.

The leader of the Peaky Blinders is Tommy Shelby, played by Cillian Murphy, he of the chiseled cheekbones and piercing blue eyes, a Hollywood star who has appeared in blockbuster movies and arthouse films alike, including Christopher Nolan’s Batman reboot and Inception, Ken Loach’s Cannes Palme D’or winner The Wind That Shakes the Barley and Danny Boyle’s seminal zombie film 28 Days Later. 

* Cillian Murphy's best Michael Corleone pose.

Tommy Shelby is the leader of the crime family, rounded out by his dim-witted older brother Arthur, younger sibling John and, the heart of the family, Aunty Pollyanna Shelby. Along with the usual a bevvy of rough-neck, northerner goons.

Aunt Polly and the Shelby women, including Tommy’s sister Ada, successfully maintained the family business – special price bookmaking – whilst the brothers served King and Country fighting the Hun in France during the Great War. But now that Tommy and his brothers have returned, Tommy wastes no time in reasserting control of their fledgling business and begins hastily and ruthlessly building the small family operation into an empire. This includes seizing the local pub, The Garrison, at gunpoint, making the owner ‘an offer he couldn’t refuse’, rigging horse-races, fighting gypsy’s, challenging bookie boss Billy Kimber and other assorted scallywag behaviour.

Sound familiar? The war hero returning home to lead his crime family into legitimate business, coupled with tension between he and his elder brother, clearly a nod to Michael and Fredo Corleone in The Godfather films.

The series also looks familiar and is most obviously inspired by HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, especially because of its early 1900’s time period and wardrobe, the dapper caps, overcoats, pin-striped suits and well-pressed shirts they all wear. And as we learn, even the oriental laundromat is a front for a racket. (Think Mr. Woo in Deadwood and the Korean linen service and massage parlours in The Sopranos!)    

Why they are called the Peaky Blinders and not the Shelby Gang, apart from sounding really bloody cool, is never properly explained. But it may have something to do with the Peaky Blinders' weapon of choice; razor blades sewn into the visors and peaks of their caps. A ‘peaky blinder’; a hat you can slash someone’s eyeballs out with! This is an ingenious trademark weapon, worthy of a cult comic book hero! But sadly, we only see the Peaky Blinders carving it up with their caps a couple of times. I would have loved to have seen the naff blades put to more use. That being said, every time one of the gang confronts an enemy, or even just takes their cap off being gentlemanly, is a successful technique in ramping up audience tension, hoping that they unleash a hat-slash across the face of an adversary!

Before we have even met Thomas Shelby and his brothers, a certain tone and feel is set immediately by the theme song, the Nick Cave classic Red Right Hand (1994). The song has been used in films and commercials before, The X-Files feature film and a recent ad campaign promoting the wine region of South Australia. 

*Nick Cave's 'Red Right Hand'.

Red Right Hand is an inspired choice. Nick Cave’s music has always had a cinematic quality because of the stories he tells through his lyrics and the emotions and atmosphere he conjures up. A good theme song can really hook you into a series, is something an audience can grow to love and the song itself can become an icon of pop culture (thinking again of The Sopranos and The Wire’s iconic theme songs). The series itself even looks and feels like something Cave, the musician-come-celebrated-author-screenwriter (The Proposition, Lawless) could have conceived, known for writing about outlaws, hillbilly’s and having a knack for ‘ye olde’ dialogue. In fact, if it weren’t for Googling him, I could have almost been convinced that Peaky Blinders creator and showrunner, Steven Knight, was actually Mr. Nick Cave writing under a pseudonym! No disrespect intended to Steven Knight’s talents. And I would not at all be surprised if we did indeed, sometime in the future, see a Peaky Blinders episode by ‘guest’ writer Mr. Nick Cave – maybe one of the perks of the series using his Red Right Hand as their theme.

But I digress…

The actual plot that thrusts Tommy Shelby and his Peaky Blinders on their season trajectory is the heist of a shipment of machine guns that come into their possession, stolen in transit from the B.S.A armaments factory. B.S.A being the actual Birmingham Small Arms company, who would later go on to famously manufacture the BSA motorcycle! (When I think B.S.A, I cannot help but recall George Michael’s leather jacket in the 80’s hit music video Faith!)

The machine guns themselves are essentially a ‘McGuffin’; a plot device to drive the story (like the suitcase in Pulp Fiction.) With fears that the machine guns could fall into the hands of terrorists like the I.R.A or revolutionary Communist agitators like Tommy’s best mate Freddy Thorn, Minister of Defence, Sir Winston Churchill, sends Inspector Campbell, played by Sam Neil, to Birmingham to recover the guns. (This is another aspect of the series I enjoy – how the writers and in particular the art department have worked hard to reflect the true, gritty, grimy, smoky, soot-laden lifestyle of Birmingham in 1919, with real historical figures like Sir Winston Churchill appearing as a character on the fringes of the fictionalised Peaky Blinders plot and King George and the politics of the era regularly being referenced.)

*Put that in your pipe & smoke it - Sam Neill

Enter Inspector Chester Campbell, Tommy Shelby’s nemesis. Sam Neill is excellent as the corrupt, malicious, sometimes even pathetic, double-crossing Inspector Campbell. It is refreshing to see Sam Neill play such a dark character and his role is one of the most engaging of the series.

Inspector Campbell is accompanied by a young lady friend, Special Agent Grace Burgess, played by blonde-beauty Annabell Wallis. Enter Tommy Shelby’s love interest! The young ‘spy’ integrates herself into the local ghetto community, ingratiates herself with the Shelby family (all except for the suspicious Polly), infiltrating the Peaky Blinders as a barmaid, bookkeeper and eventually, Tommy’s bed-mate lover.  

Peaky Blinders has all the elements in place to ensure success; stunning performances from a talented ensemble cast, an impeccable art department that has created an authentic-feeling early 1900’s look, all contradicted by a killer contemporary rock soundtrack featuring music by The White Stripes, Tom Waits, The Raconteurs and, as previously mentioned, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, the overall production qualities making Peaky Blinders ‘cinema on TV’.

Whether or not Peaky Blinders can reach the same lofty heights of other ‘cinema on TV’ series like The Sopranos, The Wire, Breaking Bad, Mad Men and Game of Thrones – remains to be seen.

What makes those dramas great is, primarily, the writer’s willingness to take risks and be bold, pulling the trigger and killing off a central character when the plot demanded it, even more so when that character had become beloved by the audience, the emotional response and pay off being all the more intense, gut-wrenching and overall dramatic.

If there is one fault with Peaky Blinders, for a TV show about gangsters, with undercover agents, double-crosses and bloody turf wars, the body count is unusually low.

This may be attributed to a few things;  

1) Trying to appeal to a wider demographic, opting for a ‘love-plot’ over the harsh and brutal gangster reality in the chase for higher ratings.

2) Sometimes it feels like writers fall in love with their characters, hence their reluctance to have them bumped off / whacked, even when the plotting suggests, no demands, that they deserve to die!

3) Or maybe they are just being true and authentic to the Birmingham death register and murder or death by a bloody gang war just wasn’t as common as it were in say, 1920’s Atlantic City, as in Boardwalk Empire. Sure, hospitals must have done a lot of stitching up of blade wounds from caps sewn with razors, but when your major plot device involves a shipment of machine guns you would at least expect there to be some sort of body count from said artillery!

It is also worth noting that most TV series’, even those in the rarefied air as those previously mentioned classics, tend to play it safe in their first season, often not finding their true tone and style until seasons two to three. Creator’s and Producers have to wrap up all plot lines and tie up any loose threads with the season one finale, as they don’t know if the series will be renewed by the broadcaster, a second season all dependent upon ratings and how well the first season is critically received.

However, the good news is, there is already a second season of Peaky Blinders to be devoured (currently available on Netflix and coming soon to ABC2) and a third season currently in production as of October 2015.

At the risk of sounding like a blood-thirsty, gypsy, mercenary goon, one can only hope that, in seasons two and three, to ramp up the dramatic tension, the writers decide to pull the trigger and slit the throats of those that stand in the way of Tommy Shelby and his Peaky Blinders, as they expand their business empire south, inevitably towards old London town. 

The other exciting news is, season two of the Peaky Blinders welcomes another bona-fide British Hollywood superstar to the cast, Tom Hardy (most recently seen as Mad Max in Fury Road). So, it may be fair to assume that the Peaky’s will crank things up a few notches and deliver us a blinder! 

* 'Did you piss in my cup?' Cillian Murphy to Tom Hardy in S02 of Peaky Blinders.

 (*Peaky Blinders is on ABC2 Monday nights at 9:20pm then repeated on Tuesday nights at 11:30pm, available for streaming on ABC I-View and both Seasons 1 – 2 on Netflix.) 

(*Images ripped & rerpoduced without permission.) 

MILIUS: The Unsung Soldier of the Film Apocalypse - Documentary Review

Does the name JOHN MILIUS, the subject of the aptly titled 2013 documentary MILIUS, sound familiar to you?

To me and other cinephiles, yes.

To many a movie-goer, maybe? Vaguely?

To most, (particularly those born post-1984) Hell no!

Does his name echo-out in the echelons of post-modern American filmmaking like his contemporaries Spielberg, Lucas and Scorsese? Again, hell no!

Should his name ring out? HELL YES!

Why, you may ask?

This documentary, a bio-pic-doco about the life and career of gun-toting, cigar-smoking, filmmaker John Milius, basically maps out how this Screenwriter-come-Director’s fingerprints / pen-strokes / type-writer-ribbon-smudges, have basically influenced everything we now see and know of popular film culture!

Pen-strokes / key-strokes; many times Milius did not even write the classic scenes he was responsible for; like the time he turned in the feature-film script for Dillinger (1973), dictated into a telegram machine. Or, the time when he verbalized the most classic scene in Jaws over the phone to Spielberg! Yep, you know the scene - towards the climax of the film, when salty sea-dog ‘Captain Quint’ recalls, with spine-tingling detail, the tale of his WW2 ship, the SS Indianapolis, being struck by a submarine torpedo and how the Sailors were subsequently picked off by hungry sharks… That scene! The best scene in Jaws! HE wrote that scene! In a single phone call! Chatting over the land-line with Steven Spielberg, who was looking to layer-up his film and add more dimension to his characters, calling upon his old film school buddy John Milus! WOW!

In Milius’ adolescent years, we learn that he had psychologically prepared himself to enlist, fight and die in the Vietnam war. After volunteering and being rejected because of his asthma, in 1967, Milius stumbled his way into film school at the U.S.C (University of Southern California) School of Cinematic-Television, alongside the aforementioned George Lucas and, later, Steven Spielberg.

In 1967, the counter-culture hippy movement was at its peak. But Milius didn’t subscribe to this free-love hippy era, although he was slap-bang in the middle of it! Milius, mockingly and somewhat provocatively, preferred to portray himself as a kind of right-wing warmonger. No, not Peace Now! But Apocalypse Now as Milius would coin the phrase that would later become the film title. 

*Probably the most famous line of dialogue written by John Milius... And possibly the most famous line of dialogue in the history of film!

The persona of Milius immediately draws up comparisons with that of another gun-totting, girl-crazed iconic writer, that of Hunter S. Thompson, also the subject of numerous documentaries about his life, such as Gonzo (2008), narrated by Johnny Depp.

Although Milius didn’t seem to partake in as many drugs as dope-fiend Hunter S. and whilst Thompson drew his inspiration from synthetic sources, Milius’ talent as a writer really sprung forth from literally nowhere, except for maybe being a well-read, passionate student of history. This documentary and the life and work of John Milius actually left me wondering that, for some, and I’m talking about next level genius writers, that maybe writing for people like Milius is not so much an art, a practise, a discipline or dedication… but rather, almost a divine gift!

That may sound like an extreme over-exaggeration. But when you look at the screenplays Milius strung together, it is literally like a roadmap to what was 'cool' in film throughout the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s… right up until present day.

Let’s briefly examine the time-line of his career…

The Dirty Harry films, kicked off by Milius as early as 1971, set the template for the cop thrillers / Jason Stathan-type roles that are still being churned-out by major studios today. Milius wrote the lines, ‘Go ahead punk… make my day.’ Not to mention the famous Clint Eastwood monologue about Harry’s beloved .44 Magnum, ‘the most powerful handgun in the world’, clearly indicative of Milius’ obsession with guns.

Milius’ Dillinger film was clearly a precursor to the smash hit Bonnie and Clyde starring Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway.

He managed to adapt the classic Joseph Conrad novel Hearts of Darkness into the Francis Ford Coppola directed, iconoclastic Vietnam War film, Apocalyspe Now, when, prior to that, much more feted filmmakers, like Orson Welles, had attempted to adapt the same source material and failed.

Again, he wrote the best scene in Jaws… over the phone!

He actually gave Arnold Schwarzenegger his big film break with the lead role in Conan the Barbarian (1982), re-writing and directing a young Oliver Stone’s third feature film script. Yep, that’s right, he kick-started the careers of Arnie and Oliver, one would go onto become the right-wing Republican ‘Governator’ of California, the other a left-wing, agent-provocateur and auteur fimmaker in his own right.

*A young John Milius and Arnold Schwarzenegger on the set of Conan the Barbarian.

Whilst seminal and influential are also two other words that immediately spring to mind when describing Milius, sadly, so are maligned and ostracized.

Yep, it wouldn’t be a documentary story worth telling if it were all glory without any conflict or tragedy… and Milius had his fair share.

After working closely with Martin Sheen on Apocalyspe Now, John Milius then gave Charlie Sheen his big break in the ‘84 block buster Red Dawn (later blatantly mimicked to great financial success by Australian writer John Marsden in the Tomorrow When The War Began series.)

Whilst Red Dawn was a smash at the box office for Milius, the film’s controversial plot about the invasion of the USA by Soviet troops, touched such a raw nerve that it was labelled ‘reckless’ and ‘dangerous’ by critics, drawing an official response from the Soviet Union who labelled it as 'American Hollywood propaganda', actually leading to an escalation of the Cold War conflict.

As a result, from the Red Dawn fiasco, Milius was practically ostracized from Hollywood. Despite his credits and box-office success, he suddenly became studio political poison!

In the 1980’s, many of the major Hollywood studios had been bought-up by multi-national corporations who were now majority shareholders. Established filmmakers like John Milius didn’t take too kindly to being told how to tell their stories by accountants and corporate bean-counters. Pulling a pistol on a big-shot Executive Producer in a meeting may have been funny in the 60’s and 70’s… but in corporate, politically-correct, 1980’s Hollywood, this sort of behaviour didn’t fly any more and many felt threatened by Milius and his potentially risqué screenplays and films.

The persona Milius had worked so hard to create - the gun-toting, cowboy screenwriter, had suddenly become a hindrance to the filmmaker.

Combine this with being swindled by a shifty accountant and Milius suddenly found himself on the verge of bankruptcy, whilst his contemporaries Spielberg and Lucas were defining modern era blockbuster franchises with their Stars Wars and Indiana Jones movies.

Milius was forced to scrape by for the next two decades however he could, writing epsiodes of TV for shows like Miami Vice, influencing soon to be big-time filmmaker Michael Mann (Heat, Collateral, Ali and the Dillinger reboot Public Enemies) who was also a co-writer on Miami Vice at that time.

My other favourite anecdote from the Milius documentary (along with the Jaws story from Spielberg) comes from the showrunner for Deadwood, David Milch. Milius, a big fan of the western TV series, contacted HBO to enquire about a gig writing episodes. The showrunner responded, “You’re fucking John Milius! You wrote Apocalypse Now! I cannot come into work every day and see you in my team of writers and tell you what to write!” Milius pleaded his case, saying that he was broke and had promised his son that he would pay for his college fees to study law. David Milch and HBO generously paid Milius’ son's tuition fees.

It was a bold gesture by Milch and HBO. But Milius would pay them back ten-fold in 2005 when he delivered HBO the 22-episode historical epic, Rome, which would become yet another cult classic for the network.

Just as Conan the Barbarian spawned a new wave of sword-and-sandal sagas in cinema, so did Rome on TV, paving the way for another HBO series that some of you may have heard of... er, um, I dunno, a little show titled, Game Of Thrones!

I must admit, before viewing the bio-pic-doco, Milius, my knowledge of his work did not extend much further than Apocalypse Now, Conan and the surf film Big Wednesday. Therefore, I am thankful for the creators of this doco for filling in the blanks on what has been a stellar career which deserves way more acknowledgement. 

*At least the Cohen brothers acknowledge John Milius' influence, Milius the inspiration behind the character of 'Walter Sobchak', played by John Goodman in The Big Lebowski.

So I say, aye-aye (*military salute) to the gun-toting, screenwriting, ‘General’ John Milius. A seminal screenwriter who, in the battle of the blank page, strafed and peppered modern filmmaking with his screenwriting bullets of machismo and bravado (cheesy military comparisons aside), a filmmaker whom inspired generations of imitators, with half of them probably not even realising that they have been influenced by the work of John Milius.

* Milius was another Netflix documentary discovery, currently available for streaming via the US platform. 

* Pictures ripped from Google Images and reproduced without permission. 

LOST SOUL: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau - Review

Trolling through Netflix (US version) very late one night recently, I stumbled upon a documentary about filmmaking, titled, Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau. And, WOW, what a rare find this gem of a doco has been! 

As a ‘failed’ feature filmmaker myself, having had a project collapse and die an inglorious death, I can somewhat relate to the crazy, chaotic and hilariously tragic tale of filmmaker Richard Stanley’s attempts to Direct the 1996 film, The Island of Dr. Moreau.

 
This documentary is a film about a film.

What were once primarily produced as ‘Bonus Features’ on DVD’s, ‘Making-of’ docos have moved beyond ‘Featurettes’ and have become feature-length documentaries, a sub-genre unto themselves.

With Lost Soul…  think making-of meets disaster-movie! And when I say disaster movie, I don’t mean erupting volcanos or towering infernos… I mean the production of the film itself was, quite literally, a disaster.

It’s a clever business model really. Employ a hungry uni student with a HD video cam on your film crew, pay them in catering, ‘experience’ and an IMDB credit, then if the proverbial hits the fan and the film collapses... Viola! You already have a ‘get out of jail free’ card to play by turning your ‘Featurette’ into a feature-length ‘making of’ documentary!

The documentary that kicked off this unique sub-genre was, of course, Hearts of Darkness, about the craziness and chaos behind the making of Francis Ford Coppola’s iconoclastic war film, Apocalypse Now.

Other (dis)honourable contributions to the films about films / making-of / disaster film doco genre include American Movie (1999), Overnight (2003) and Terry Gilliam’s Lost In La Mancha (2002) about the Monty Python Director's attempts to direct his problem-plagued-production, The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, originally slated to star Johnny Depp. 

Most recently, we have also seen Jorodowsky’s Dune, about 70’s cult Director Jorodowsky’s plans to adapt the sci-fi novel Dune (which itself ended up a train wreck with original Director David Lynch removing his name from the credits) and Superman Lives, about Kevin Smith’s attempts to make a Superman film with Nicholas Cage in the lead role, two docos about films that never even got off the ground.

So whether it’s Martin Sheen having a heart attack whilst performing tai-chi naked in Hearts of Darkness ... or Val Kilmer refusing to come out of his trailer until Brando had come out of his in Lost Soul / Dr. Moreau …These making-of / disaster docos give us the back-story behind the infamous productions that spiralled out of control and became notorious disasters and train-wrecks unto themselves. (*Apocalypse Now being the obvious exception in that, whilst it was a disaster to produce, the film still went on to become a commercial and critical success and one of the greatest films of a generation!)

And what is another link between The Island of Dr. Moreau, Apocalypse Now and Hearts of Darkness??? Marlon Brando, of course! At his notorious, bloated, superstar, ego-maniac, petulant best! But Coppola, a big man and a superstar in his own right, could wrangle Brando, whereas this poor guy Richard Stanley was just a kid thrown into the deep end! And boy was he way, way, way out of his depth!

For those that haven’t seen it, The Island of Dr. Moreau is universally ranked as one of the worst films of all time, right up alongside ‘Razzie’s’ like The Room and Gigi.

 

*An illustration of Kilmer, Brando and Director Stanley.

The story comes from the novel of the same name, by esteemed sci-fi author H.G Wells, most famous for writing War of the Worlds and many other celebrated sci-fi novels.

As the documentary lays bare, The Island of Dr. Moreau had all the ingredients to be a hit; story by a legend of the sci-fi universe, one of the world’s biggest stars in Brando attached to play the title character and homo-erotic Top Gun heartthrob Val Kilmer playing opposite Brando. And then there was the Director, Richard Stanley, a young filmmaker whose star was certainly on the rise!

At that time, the South African Richard Stanley was only in his late twenties and coming off the back of two successful, but very small, indi cult films, Hardwired and Devil Dust.

The studio New Line Cinema enthusiastically green-lit production on Stanley’s third film ...Dr. Moreau, which was originally conceived as a modestly budgeted horror film for around $6-8million. However, as the project gained traction and buzz and when stars Brando and Kilmer came aboard in central roles, that modest $6-8 million budget quickly escalated to a $60-80 million dollar picture. Naturally, the studio became nervous, very nervous, and the undermining of the young Director began. 

* The young Richard Stanley prepping for Dr. Moreau.

From the interviews in Lost Soul… Stanley, a practitioner of Witchcraft, comes across as somewhat of an eccentric character, to say the least. According to Stanley, when he was meeting with Brando to pitch him the lead role, a Coven of witches and warlocks were casting spells and making blood sacrifices, to help ensure that Brando indeed took the lead role of Dr. Moreau.

However, whilst Director Stanley had the backing of witches and warlocks, he was losing the confidence of the studio to deliver his film. Frightened by some of the risqué scenes and story-boarding depicting Stanley’s out there vision for the film (including hardcore interspecies sex scenes), during pre-production, the Producer’s made the prophetic decision to write in a contingency within the budget to hire another Director, should Stanley lose control of his production, or should the studio lose control of Richard Stanley. It was almost as if the studio had manifested the impending disaster by doubting the young Stanley and undermining him to begin with.

The documentary, a mix of archival footage and interviews with cast and crew, also has a uniquely Australian feel to it, since the actual film …Dr. Moreau, was shot on location, on an island, near Cairns, just off the coast of Queensland. Many of the key crew and all of the extras were sourced locally, much to the chagrin of New Line Cinema, back in Hollywood.

And like many naive foreigners, the Producers of the film somehow assumed that the weather and shooting conditions in far north Queensland were all sunny skies and tropical paradises, typical post-card Australian stuff. Somehow, nobody accounted for the intense heat and humidity, followed by the monsoonal wet season, typical of the Far North Queensland region. Upon completion of set building, the production was hit by torrential rains and most of their sets were washed out into the Pacific Ocean.

The film was about to be hit by another disaster beyond their control; around the time Brando was due to arrive in Australia, his daughter, Cheyenne Brando, committed suicide. This delayed the shoot even further, with Brando remaining in the US to grieve and be with his family.

With barely any of their sets and the lead actor not even on the same continent, the young Stanley tried to push ahead and shoot what footage he could. But there was one more disaster awaiting Stanley... and that was cyclone Kilmer. Coming off Batman Forever, Kilmer was at his peak as a Hollywood film star and was none too keen on taking direction from the younger Stanley. The cast and crew interviews recall how Kilmer was re-writing scenes, disregarding dialogue in favour of improvisation and flat-out refusing to take direction. The documentary also suggests Kilmer only took the role for the chance to play opposite Brando. But Brando was nowhere to be seen.

By the time Brando did arrive in Cairns, Australia, Director Richard Stanley had been fired and replaced with veteran Director John Frankenheimer. This reportedly angered Brando, whom had developed a fondness for Stanley and shared his vision for the film.

New Director Frankenheimer had been sent to Australia with one brief; to salvage the Production and basically deliver something, anything, that resembled a film.

But not even the experienced Frankenheimer could wrangle mega-stars Brando and Kilmer.

Brando refused to do any dialogue scenes with Kilmer. Most of the quirkiness in the final cut of the film were creative decisions insisted by Brando; the white pancake make-up, the ice bucket on the head and the decision to take one of the freak extras, the worlds smallest man, Nelson De La Rosa, standing at a diminutive 2’4, and create the ‘mini-me’ character, which would later be parodied by Dr. Evil in Mike Myers' Austin Powers. 

* Marlon Brando as Dr. Moreau with his 'mini-me'.

Being a ‘creature-feature horror’, the film also engaged the services of the famous Stan Winston Studio make-up and effects artists. Extras interviewed in the doco recall how everyday they would spend hours in make up and be required on set, in stifling heat, to not even be used shooting any scenes that day, which would go on for months on end.

Meanwhile, original Director Richard Stanley had become an official 'missing person'! Devastated at being fired from his pet project, Stanley was paid out in full for his work and meant to be put on a plane back to L.A. However, Stanley never made it back to L.A. and was a reported missing, somewhere in Australia. In interviews, he reveals that he had settled with some hippies at a commune nearby the production, smoking copious amounts of weed as he came to terms with his firing.  

*Richard Stanley circa 2014.

(*MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!)

In what is the highlight of the documentary, Stanley reveals how he snuck back on location, disguised by a prosthetic mask and the sacked Director actually appears in scenes in the film as a ‘Dog Man’, half dog / half man, under the direction of his replacement, Frankenheimer.

As the weeks rolled into more than six months, the tension between Director Frankenheimer and his stars Brando and Kilmer continued and the budget continued to spiral out of control. Eventually, a wrap was called and they were able to fashion a film out of what would come to be known as a legendary, train wreck of a film shoot.  

The Island of Dr. Moreau was universally panned by critics but according to imdb.com the film somehow managed to turn of profit for New Line Cinema, thanks to a cult following in Japan.

As for the Lost Soul himself, Richard Stanley, he would never make another feature-film again. Sad for Stanley, tragic that such a promising talent was lost to the industry because of studio politics and circumstances beyond his control... but a BIG bonus for us, for if it wasn’t for the collective chaos and insanity behind Dr. Moreau, then we wouldn’t have this delightful little romp of a ‘making of / disaster’ documentary.

I sympathize with Richard Stanley; God knows that in my attempts to produce a feature film here in Australia, the trials, tribulations, shady characters and the retarded industry itself, presented as much, if not more drama, than the actual screenplay I was trying to produce… Maybe I would have been better off making a ‘making of’ doco, rather than an actual film?

*Images reproduced without permission. 

SNOWPIERCER - Review

Directed by Bong Joon Ho

Screenwriter: Joon Ho Bong.

Screenplay by Kelly Masterson

Story by Joon Ho Bong

Based on the graphic novel Le Transperceneige by Jacques Lob, Bejamin Legrand & Jean Marc Rochette.

Set in a ‘dystopian future’ where earth’s remaining inhabitants are imprisoned on a train that circles the earth, piercing through a man-made ice age, Snowpiercer is a surprisingly entertaining and original film that brings new elements to the post-apocalyptic / natural disaster genres.

The film has an impressive pedigree, being the first Hollywood / English speaking film by South Korean Director, Bong Joon Ho, who brought us the South Korean cult-classic The Host, which was a clever creature-feature and homage to the Japanese Godzilla films, far superior to the actual reboot of Godzilla, starring Bryan Cranston, that was inflicted upon audiences late last year.

Upon writing this review, it has also come to my attention that Snowpiercer is actually based upon the French graphic novel Le Transperceneige, (translation literally being Snowpiercer.)

So not only is Snowpiercer a post apocalyptic / disaster film, but being based on a graphic novel, Snowpiecer also qualifies as a ‘comic-book genre’ movie (graphic novel versus comic book… the debate rages on!)

The adaptation from graphic novel to film would also explain why there are so many bloody different writers credited, e.g. the source writers, the graphic novelists, the ‘story by’ writer, the screenwriters. No less than six individual writing credits! (*A side-note; for reasons only known to the filmmaker, as Director, he has chosen to go by the moniker of Bong Joon Ho / as screenwriter, a slight variation, Joon Ho Bong! Peculiar to say the least. Personally, I can get behind any filmmaker with the name Bong!)

Despite recommendations from friends whose film tastes and opinions I rate, I had successfully managed to avoid watching Snowpiercer for two years since its 2013 release. Even though I was completely unaware Snowpiercer belonged to the ‘comic book genre’ I must’ve somehow sensed it. For one, the lead actor is Chris Evans, none other than Captain America himself! And the artwork also screams ‘comic book movie’. (I wont go into too much detail in this review, but generally I despise ‘comic-book’ and ‘super-hero’ movies. Ok, I will go into detail; I think ‘comic book movies’ are a blight on the film industry and these tent-pole, effects-laden, popcorn movies occupy multiplex cinema screens, chew up studio budgets, essentially preventing real, story-based, character-driven films from cutting through and enjoying mainstream success. This review has given me an idea for a follow-up article. Stay tuned for, WHY I HATE COMIC BOOK MOVIES!)

Even though Snowpiercer looks like a comic book movie and it’s genesis is as a graphic novel, Snowpiercer is anything but comic-book fodder! No, this ain’t no movie, this is an actual film, delivered with great skill by a very talented South Korean story-teller, who knows his craft and knows how to develop characters. Kudos to Miramax for actually giving Director Bong Joon Ho a crack at Producing something original and introducing him to mainstream Western audiences.  

(*SPOLIER ALERT)

The set-up and explanation as to how our characters ended up on the train is brief, explained in a short sequence over the opening credits; to combat rising temperatures as a result of global warming, rather than addressing the issue by reducing our carbon, silly mankind instead opts to spray a coolant chemical called ‘CW-7’ into the upper atmosphere which will supposedly cool the earth! Uh-oh! Just like the spraying of DDT, mankind has fucked it up again and rather than cooling our planet by a few degrees they have accidentally frozen the planet, killing every living thing on Earth, resulting in a man-made ice age. What I like about this short opening sequence is that, from the get-go, the audience is informed that Snowpiercer is a disaster film, albeit man-made, that has an environmental conscience. The footage of jets spraying streams into the upper atmosphere also ties into the conspiro-theory of ‘chem-trails’; a popular theory gaining traction around the web, which suggests that the after-burn trails criss-crossing our skies from air travel is laced with some sort of mind-control drug, a bit like the fluoride in the water conspiracy. So BAM! Two minutes into the opening credits and we have a new, original take on the natural disaster genre. 

How our characters ended up on the train, dubbed the Snowpiercer, for it’s ability to barrel through ice and snow at high speeds, circling the earth, isn’t quite explained until the climax of the film. But what we do know is that, just like any society, there is most definitely a class-system on this train; the poor souls that survive on ‘protein bars’ – dubious looking black jello blobs – in the rear carriages and the trains ruling-class, who live in the first-class carriages at the front of the train. No one at the rear really knows how the passengers at the front of the train live, as no one has ever been that far forward, except for a few times when there was an attempted revolution or mutiny by passengers at the rear before their revolt was quashed. Clearly, the class system aboard the Snowpiercer is a metaphor for present day society, tapping into the recent angst of the Occupy Movement versus the one-percent ruling class.

The haggard, dirty, rag-tag bunch of passengers in the rear of the train are led by the one-armed Gilliam (played by William Hurt). Gilliam is a mentor to our hero, Curtis (Chris Evans) who has been on the train for the past eighteen years. Curtis actually remembers what life was like before the big freeze! Unlike his side-kick Edgar (played by Jamie Bell) who is a ‘train-baby’ and has been aboard his entire life.

What is most impressive is the ensemble cast that relatively unknown director Bong Joon Ho has bee able to pull together for this film, including Octavia Spencer (Oscar award winning actress from The Help), Ewen Bremner (Spud from Trainspotting who’s dialogue must have been left on the cutting-room floor since he barely utters a word), Alison Pill (a.k.a Maggie Jordan from Aaron Sorkin’s hit TV series The Newsroom) and, most significantly, the great Tilda Swinton.

Swinton has amassed a staggering body of work throughout her career. Ten years ago, she may have been considered a less glamorous, low-budget alternative to a Cate Blanchett or Toni Collette. But the performances she has turned in, in roles such as the Angel Gabriel in Constantine, or as the White Witch in the Narnia Chronicles films and her pièce de résistance in We Need To Talk About Kevin, place her well above contemporaries like Collette and Blanchett. 

* Tilda Swinton as Governess Mason, in all her kooky glory!

In Snowpiercer, Swinton’s role as the governess Mason is one of her most impressive performances yet. Her character, Mason, acts as a conduit / diplomat between the front carriages and the rear. Swinton shreds scenes with her mix of humour and surrealism, channelling the Iron Lady herself, like a Margaret Thatcher on acid, the similarities between the fictional character and the historical figure obvious. Maybe this was Swinton’s way of stating; you got who to play Thatcher? Meryl? But she isn’t even British! I digress –

Our hero, Curtis, begins receiving correspondence from an ally at the front of the train via little hidden messages slipped inside his jello-blob protein bars; someone from the front is provoking a revolution and they want Curtis to lead this!  

The messages in the jello lead Curtis to Nam Minsoo, a security expert who helped build the train, and his daughter, Yona, both imprisoned in some kind of sleeper cabin a few carriages further up.

Astute audience will recognise the talented Korean actor Kang Ho-Song playing Nam Minsoo, from the Directors previous breakout cult-film The Host.

Once Nam and his daughter Yona are introduced is when the plot and pacing of Snowpiercer really cranks up! Being a security expert, Nam has the ability to rewire the electric doors that separate the carriages. This, combined with his daughter, Yona’s, clairvoyant abilities, enabling her to see what, or who, awaits on the other side of the sliding electric door, is a massive coup for Curtis (Evans), Gilliam (Hurt) and their rag-tag team of wanna-be revolutionists!

Oh, and did I mention Nam and Yona are both junkies, addicted to the drug Krona; a green, plasticky type substance that is a highly flammable toxic waste that users inhale to get high. More points for originality and quirkiness in inventing a new drug, Krona.

As well as the electronic security doors, the trains hierarchy also have their own henchmen for Curtis and his sidekick Edgar (Bell) to do battle with, none more intimidating than the goon Franco, played by the relatively unknown Romanian actor Vlad Ivanov, who barely utters a word, reminiscent of a younger, meaner version of a Robert Mitchum (younger readers won’t remember Mitchum but he was one of the original Hollywood tough guys.) These clashes with the train henchmen and goons ensure plenty of action and violence as our heroes move from carriage to carriage. (Another compliment I will pay Snowpiercer is that the Director is not at all afraid to kill off his central characters for the sake of driving the story and ramping up the tension and stakes.)

As we move further towards the front of the train, some of the carriages we encounter are fantastical; there is a terranium-style hydroponic carriage enabling passengers from the front to grow fruit and vegetables, an aquarium, complete with sushi bar, a nightclub where all the party people are high on Krona, there is even a classroom with all the students being indoctrinated into the cult of Wilford (Wilford being the train-driver / builder / owner and benevolent benefactor who somehow seen the ice-age disaster coming and had the good sense to load up his train / ark and travel the world on his interconnecting intercontinental rail lines to avoid the impending ice-age apocalypse!) Sounds very silly, I know, this whole scenario requires a suspension of disbelief if you are to buy into the story. There are a lot of logic loop-holes; if’s, but’s and maybe’s and the idea of a train being able to keep chug-chug-chugging along on the tracks, when all else is frozen stiff, is a bit of a stretch to say the least!

*Ah-sung Ko as clairvoyant Yona, inspecting the aquarium carriage.

And so finally we reach our destination, the front of the train, the ‘sacred motor’ section. Driven by our Captain, villain / nemesis, Wilford, played by Ed Harris. By this stage of the story, I had almost forgotten that Ed Harris was even in this film! But here he is, auto-dialling in yet another role as a omnipotent, all-knowing, all-seeing guru figure, not unlike his character in The Truman Show. Wilford represents everything Curtis despises about the class system and train hierarchy. But, as Wilford explains, the Snowpiercer is it’s own functioning little ecosystem and order and balanced must be maintained.  

It is in these climatic scenes between Curtis (Evans) and Wilford (Harris) that a final plot twist is introduced. This twist is so absurd that it almost completely derails the story, somewhat sabotaging the credibility of the entire film. Almost, that is! Putting the twist aside, it was one hell of a journey just getting from the rear carriage to the front that I can almost forgive the filmmaker for the unexpected plot twist. As Wilford explains to Curtis, ‘You are the only man to ever walk the length of this train!’ Wilford attempts to seduce Curtis with the temptation of luxuries enjoyed by passengers at the front of the train. ‘Do you remember what a steak tastes like Curtis?’ … Steak has been extinct for years now’. Will Curtis accept Wilford’s offers of peace and lead the Snowpiercer train and it’s passengers into a new era of peace and equality?

The cleverness of Snowpiercer is in it’s plotting. In hindsight, looking from the front of the train to the tail, it seems so obvious to set a film on a train and use carriage by carriage to dictate key plot points.

Director Bong Joon Ho does indeed combine elements from the environmental disaster / comic-book movie genres but puts his own refreshing new spin on them. I reiterate, a ‘comic book movie’ this is not! No, this is the work of a young, inventive filmmaker and personally I am excited to see what he will come up with next.

All aboard the Snowpiercer, if you can put your preconceived impressions aside (hey, it took me two years to do so!) then you are in for one hell of a bumpy, ballsy, exciting ride! Toot-toot! 

*Photos reproduced without permission.